Why is my stomach making that noise?!

You know what noise I'm talking about...the one that sounds like your stomach is eating the rest of your internal organs, but it isn't quite a hunger growl, and it isn't quite a...well, you know. It's almost a whiney neglectful noise. So the worst thing ever is when this noise creeps up on you at work. You know, small office, you, three other people, and the growl. The awful, weird, strange, bizarre, growl.

It's awkward for all parties involved because no one really knows what it is or where it's coming from. They just know WHO it's coming from. And that who is you.

So what do you do? I've tried everything, from cracking an awkward joke, "man, I don't know what's going on with my stomach today, crazy, huh?"...fade into awkward silence....

Or you can always try the reliable cough over the growl technique. That seems to work, except for when people catch on. I mean it's like the start of a growl and then you start coughing up a lung. And at this point you're coughing so loud you have no idea if your stomach is still growling because you sure as hell can't hear it over your monster cough. So you just keep coughing until you're blue in the face which really isn't fun for anyone.

Or do you just ignore it and pretend that you have no idea that this awful noise is coming from your body. I've chosen the ignore route many times, but I think that when you choose that option your co-workers go home and tell their friends and family about your growl issues.

I kind of feel like maybe this kind of thing only happens to me and you are staring at your computer screen right now thinking that I'm a total weirdo with really messed up gastrointestinal issues. Or, maybe you're elated because finally - finally someone is addressing the growl. I mean let's face it, we've all been there, so why don't we stop judging. Just embrace it. The growl happens. Let's not be embarrassed anymore.

Next time you get the growl at work, or on a first date, wrap your arms around it, hug it, and thank it for reminding the people around you that you're human. A human with gastrointestinal issues, but you know, still a human.