There are three words in the English language that always send a chill down my spine, and not in a good way. The mere thought of saying them aloud actually makes me want to vomit. It's strange because they are words that I didn't mind before a friend brought them to my attention, but from that moment, I really can't stand them. You can see how I am avoiding even typing them out right now, but I'm just going to have to suck it up...here it goes...are you ready?
In 3...2...1...
Wait. I can't do it. Must stop.
I will give you a hint though: M**ST, P**SY, P****ES (I'm sure you can figure out the rest)
I thought my phobia would stop with those three words, but today, as I was walking out of a restaurant, the friendly greeter at the door yelled, "have a nice day, MA'AM."
Really? Really? You had to throw the awful M word to the end of that statement? Are you happy with yourself right now? Did throwing that in really make you feel like a better person?
We need to set some ground rules here. When is it OKAY to call someone ma'am? I mean if I had my way I would delete M**ST, P**SY, P****ES AND MA'AM from the English language. I really don't think that's too much to ask for. I don't why you crazy people out there think that the word MA'AM adds respect to a statement, but I'm here to tell you all it screams to me is: old, frumpy and fat. Since I don't have the power to delete it from the English language, why don't we come to some sort of understanding instead? Next time you feel like calling someone MA'AM - take a step back. If she looks like she is under 65, don't do it. I mean really, it's THAT simple. Would it kill you to leave it at "have a nice day"?
*Writers note: If you ever call me MA'AM, expect a slap across the face, even after 65.
2 comments:
Thank you, best friend, the entire Internet world should know to refrain from the dreaded p word. Now if only Victoria's Secret would catch on.
Court, I'd like to dedicate this post to you.
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